Resolving conflicts

con·flict - A state of disharmony between incompatible or antithetical persons, ideas, or interests; a clash.

Misconception or myths of conflict

1. Many believe conflict if left alone resolves itself… which is rubbish because conflicts can never resolves itself when left alone… normally it will escalates and often becomes unbearable.

2. Most people fear confrontations because most THINK that it is nasty, hostile, personal and destructive… but the truth is conflict usually half resolved by identifying and defining the problem and reaching a agreement to resolve and manage…

3. Conflicts is a sign of low concern for someone… this is totally bullshit because emotional involvement indicate importance of a relationship and the truth is that it helps to clarify emotions and serves to identify underlying issues!

4. The cause of conflict is misunderstanding… this is not always the case because ‘problem’ is often understood but goals different and priorities dun jive..

5. Conflicts always avoidable….. perhaps our culture lead some of us to believe that conflict is unnatural, unproductive and should be eliminated from our relationship but that is NOT TRUE! Because conflict exist in virtually every relationship and it impossible to see eye to eye!

6. Last but not least… Conflicts can always be resolved but that is also NOT TRUE! Not all conflicts can be resolved and the effort is also dependant on desired relationship. It takes two hands to clap and so what if one is willing to resolve the conflict but the other party is not willing at all? Do you think it still can be resolve??!

There have been so much conflicts between people in hall and been hearing so much that makes me sad…. So I decide to take what I learn from managing and resolving conflict course here… anyway its quite disappointing… humans most often expects others to see what they see and hear what they hear… we tends to ASSUME what others thinks… and humans tends to assume all the bad things without asking the other party whats wrong… and there you goes… the conflicts worsen…

There are people in the hall that cherish relationship so much that they give in so much to make things better… but the receiving party just ignore those sign of goodwill to try to save this friendship… and worse, some even take advantage of these kindness… just what the hell are this people thinking? People that try so hard to make things better and there you are using sarcasm tone and words taking advantage of this kindness… why can’t people be more appreciative… take a step back, and take a good look… these could be your true friends that cherish you a lot and you will live to regret when you lose them… when things go wrong why dun you approach that someone and talk it out rather than going around and telling things or rather ASSUMPTIONS about them without clarifying? Are u better in any ways by doing that? perhaps I am not fit to say these but I am just a blogger penning my thoughts… sorry… just my 3cents worth.. anyway I am not mentioning anyone in particular here… if you think I am mentioning you, I am telling you… nope I am not… cos its just some of my thoughts

Got to go back to my books… take care people and study hard for exams!! Jiayou!!