Saturday, November 24, 2007

I am bursting soon...

i feel judged.. i feel so trapped in a box that i am bursting soon.. i feel myself slipping deeper into depression.. nope, not the exams.. there is too much things within me.. so much things happening that i no longer know how to handle stuffs.. i dunno how to face everything anymore..

I just feel like putting a gun to my head but i will not pull the trigger.. i dun have the courage.. because my mum needs me.. i need to repay her first for all that she did..

FARK! I need to see a psychiatrist soon. Please, dun judge me as someone that is mad.. i am not.. i just need help to set things right..

Expectations.

Expectations. Everyone has a certain expectations about certain stuffs and certain actions people should do.. and when these expectations is not met, people get disappointed.. i guess its part of life and i am quite tired from meeting people's expectation of what things should be.. and people will just judge from these expectations.. try asking, try talking, try to understand, try to put in people's shoe.. or maybe i am not talking enough.. haiz..

Perhaps its hard for me to open up my story. I have tried for so many years and not many people know of my past. Thats why i choose to blog, at least there is some place that i can throw out everything.

I just wish i can live in a less complicated world or have a less complicated mind.

Ignorance is bliss.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

The calm before the storm....

The calmness of the exam hall..



In less than 3 hrs.. the calmness will be gone...

I AM STRUGGLING!!!! HELP!!!!

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Arghhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!




Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Exams..

The previous few days have been torturing.. studying and nothing is going in.. lucky the paper in over but i got another killer paper to go thru.. i called my mum after my killer paper yesterday to complain abt stress and abt the paper is tough.. her voice is so comforting.. when she put the comfort across it just make everything feels so good.. i love my mum.. She never put any pressure on me to excel in my studies.. and she is always encouraging me and teaching me values in life.. she is such a marvellous mum.. bringing me and my brother up all by herself 20yrs ago.. she is one of the most amazing lady in the world!

anyway i was blog surfing and i came by this blog (http://mylittlenewhope.blogspot.com/). This lady is pregnent but his husband has an affair.. she is devastaed. and i guess she must be feeling really terrible.. the only constant is change... how things change so fast in this world.. how humans can change so fast.. scary.. anyway if possible drop by this blog.. drop some words of encouragement for her.. because at this point of time.. i guess she needs all the encourgament to pull thru all this..

ok.. time to study for the next killer paper!

Saturday, November 17, 2007

EXAM STRESS!

I HATE Exams! I hate the studying period! I hate the feeling of studying and yet nothing is going in! I hate it when nothing is going in and i have no time left! I hate the feeling of tiredness when i cannot get anything in! I hate Exams!

F-up!

Thursday, November 15, 2007

LATE Birthday post!

My birthday few days back! Wonderful time. Thank you terzetto for the celebration and thank you hall 5 guys for the celebration! thank you so much! simply love all of you all!

Photos from the terzetto celebration at Pit Stop Cafe!





Really glad to have this bunch of people as friends. Close to 10 years. They are marvellous bunch of friends. They will stand by you everytime without fail. Thank you so much for all this years. Really appreciate you all!
Thank you to the guys from 4th floor purple block too! Thank you for the celebration! You all have been great buddies! Thank you so much! and thanks for the present! love it!


Friday, November 09, 2007

some thoughts...

We are all looking for answers. We all want to understand who we are and where we come from. Sometimes we want the answer so badly, we believe just about anything.

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

dreams..



This video touches me.. a kiwi with a huge dream of flying.. going through all the trouble just to fulfill the dream of flying.. Having dreams is a big source of motivation, it is what make humans great.. 人因梦想而伟大...

Everyone is entitled to dream but not everyone has the privilege to purse their dreams.. I do have dreams that i want to fulfill but things are not that simple for everyone.. Dreams gave me motivation but this seems to be dying off..

So what if i have dreams when i know it cannot be fulfill.. Not everyone can fulfill their dream because of lots of circumstances. Every actions carry a responsibility, everyone has a responsibilty towards something or someone.. be it family or friends.. Sometimes this responsibility hinders you from fulfilling your dreams and it is of no choice..

there is just too much consideration with my dreams that i no longer dare to dream.. the thoughts of it make me feel worse.. I wonder how my mum feel when she gave up certain dreams because me and my brother was still young then.. it must be quite sad..

Monday, November 05, 2007

My blog is up again. I need help.

My blog is up once again. I feel the need to blog, to let out everything that is inside me. My inner thoughts, the insecurity i am feeling, my feelings. I wish i can confide in a friend but everyone seems to be so busy so their own stuff that i just dun wish to bother anyone. I just hope for someone out there who can tell me my thoughts are wrong and wake me up. Or even encourage me from my thoughts. I feel i lost my set of beliefs that i dunno what is right and wrong anymore. What path should i seek. I hope for some answers for my deepest thoughts.

Nights